The decision is Finalized

I have long experienced a longing. A longing not for monetary or physical things but rather for a better life which I knew must exist.  This desire consistently persuaded me to abandon all reason which societal standards dictated I must abide by. The urge to see a new place always built up inside until it was impossible to ignore and I was off again on a new adventure. Often not even knowing 'where' I was heading until I arrived. 

 I silently chuckle to myself each time someone found the need to express whatever new ‘thing’ they had added to their life. To me the pursuit of such items is simply insane. Could they not see and understand that the happiness brought from such items was short lived? Items wear out, break, become obsolete, and generally are simply something which deprived a person of currency which would have been better spent to finance an experience which would last forever. The only thing we will carry through an entire lifetime is memories. Therefore, it seems to me that they are the most valuable possessions a person will ever have.

     

           To me it seems that Henry David Thoreau absolutely got it right when he said “I make myself rich by making my wants few.”

            People in this world need to wake up and realize that the money they spend each and every month to simply maintain the things which they ‘own’ is a waste. That money once spent is gone forever and at any time an unforeseen circumstance can cause them to lose everything for which they have toiled. Anything can be taken away! There is not a single physical thing which can offer any type of security.

            These observations seemed to present themselves each and every time I found myself without. The times I have been without the headache of figuring out on a monthly basis the ‘how’ of paying for things which only sucked the very life out of me. The house or apartment, the car, all of the associated expenses which come along with them were never joyful experiences. Anytime I had to give away my time in exchange for the privilege of filling another pocket so that they could then also give my time away to yet someone else distressed me. It simply didn’t make any sense to continue such an existence.

Every time in life when I ran across an experience where these things were ‘lost’ I did not feel any disappointment or dismay over the physical item which was lost. It was instead as though a weight had been lifted every single time. The only negative feeling was a sense that I had wasted my time in the pursuit. Rather it was a release of the bonds which were causing my unhappiness and turmoil.  It was then time to continue on to the next place, see the next landscape, and meet the next people and learn their stories. Many times I was known to simply vanish overnight. Walking away from whatever possessions I had procured but could not carry with me in a simple backpack.

I honestly feel this is a longing which every human person experiences but is afraid to pursue. They instead concern themselves with proving to someone else that they are worth something by surrounding themselves with useless things.

The ‘what if’s’ which take up space in your minds deprives you of the peace and true happiness which comes from adventures and experiences which are possible only through spending time with their families.

I often hear from other single parents who are beaming with pride from working two jobs to provide for their children. These people  fill me only with a deep sadness. Can they not see that they have deprived themselves and their children of the most important aspects of life? Can they not see that spending such valuable time away from their children was in no way ‘raising’ them? That such time spent away means that someone else was responsible for the ‘raising’ and lessons which the children learned.  Is it then any wonder when one day a parent looks around and wonders why their child does not share their views, values, or morals? This to me is the true failing of society today. A failure from which there is no returning.

These thoughts and experiences have all combined to lead me to the point I am in life today. A place where the stress of feeling I have to fit into some societal norm with which I do not agree with or understand has caused huge anxiety issues. I believe I have finally identified my fear. My fear of wasting my time pursuing something which others value even though I do not and failing at it.

. A return to a life where a caught meal, an absence of bills, and the peacefulness of nature around me makes it a very good day.  So begins our journey back into the full timing lifestyle of the nomadic Full-Timer.